|
|
|
|
Get Off The Hook Emotionally
One thing we notice in the most
successful entrepreneurs is that they have developed the ability to stay
on track and not get hooked for too long by unproductive thoughts and
emotions.
It’s not that they think or feel less than other people. On the
contrary: Entrepreneurs tend to be very passionate people whose minds
are active all the time. What they’ve learned is how to deal with
these internal dialogues and feelings effectively so they can continue
to channel their valuable personal resources productively toward
achieving their goals. The critical skill here is to be able to focus
only on the elements of a situation that are helpful for making
progress, and to filter out the various emotions and thoughts that
derail you, sap your energy, and destroy your confidence.
What hooks you?
We all have situations that “hook” us emotionally and mentally —
dominating our thoughts and diverting energy we could be using to create
results. This is especially frustrating when you’re aware of what’s
happening and just can’t get yourself unhooked.
While every entrepreneur is different and will be hooked by different
things, some common culprits are:
Unmet expectations.
Something didn’t work out the way you planned, someone didn’t act
the way you hoped they would, or you aren’t where you feel you should
be by now.
Miscommunication.
You said something and your intention was misunderstood, or your words
had an impact you didn’t intend, often expressed in the frustration,
“Why can’t they get what I’m saying?”
Outside events.
An uncontrollable event happened and put you off-course. Perhaps you
feel you “should have seen it coming.”
Ill-will. Someone is behaving in a way that you consider inconsiderate,
unfair, or malicious to you or your company, and it sparks an emotional
reaction every time you think of it.
Obligations.
You feel obliged to do something (like fire someone or have a difficult
conversation), but really don’t want to.
Unfinished business.
Big or small, your mind won’t rest until you get closure on an issue.
Getting caught in your own spin.
You get unexpected external recognition or achieve an extraordinary
result, and you can’t believe how well things are going.
Inadvertently, you become more focused on the success than on what got
you there. We often hear from entrepreneurs in this situation that
they’re “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Most circumstances that hook us tap into a sense of powerlessness or
even inadequacy. No entrepreneur likes to be in this position.
Fortunately, we don’t need to stay there for long. By increasing our
ability to recognize when unproductive thoughts or emotions are taking
us off track, and developing habits and strategies to quickly regain a
sense of confidence and perspective, we can minimize the amount of time
we spend “on the hook.” In The Strategic Coach® Program, many of
our tools work by helping entrepreneurs do just this. While we can’t
share them all in this article, here are a few key strategies culled
from what we know gets entrepreneurs back on track.
1) Reconnect with your bigger picture goals. Your goals will always help
you get grounded in what’s important, and are where you can most
productively focus your attention.
2) Be honest with yourself and take a moment to look at what’s really
bothering you. All progress starts by telling the truth. Often
entrepreneurs are especially susceptible to getting hooked when
there’s something really important they’d rather not face.
3) Reflect on what worked and what didn’t work and figure out where
improvements can be made. By transforming a highly charged situation
into a learning opportunity, you can diffuse much of the negative
emotion and get back a feeling of being confident and in control of your
future.
4) Don’t take it personally. If you find you’ve been hooked by
another person’s actions or inactions, it helps to remember that their
decisions are often determined by a vast number of complexities
they’re dealing with in life. Rather than being number one on their
list of priorities, it’s more likely that you’re number 21 or 51, or
even 101! They may not even realize the impact their actions have had on
you. Other people always do things for their reasons, not yours. Seeing
the behavior of others in this context will help you put their actions
in a more realistic perspective so you can make clearer decisions that
protect your own priorities.
5) Rejuvenate yourself. Ask yourself if you’ve been taking time off.
If it’s been a while since you’ve had a real Free Day™ — a
24-hour period with no work-related thinking or activity — you may be
more reactive than normal. By taking Free Days™ to recharge your
batteries, you’ll be able to return with a more creative, energized
perspective that leaves you less vulnerable to being hooked by
unproductive thoughts and emotions.
Most established entrepreneurs don’t suffer from a lack of skills or
opportunities. Their biggest obstacle to further success is that they
have too much going on in their heads. That’s why when one thought or
issue takes over, it can be truly debilitating. The energy behind a
thought or feeling that just won’t leave you alone can be taken as a
powerful sign that there is an opportunity to learn or see something
new. The most consistently successful entrepreneurs learn how to heed
these signs in themselves. They also learn when and how to apply
strategies to get themselves off the hook. By recognizing when you’re
on the hook and knowing how to get yourself unhooked, you can save your
valuable energy and attention for the things that are most important and
rewarding in all areas of your life.
© 2007 The Strategic Coach
The Strategic Coach
|
